Comedy Skit

OK, imagine this: some kind of old time instrumental music playing while the footage is sped up to increase the comical effect. She gets a call. The new neighbor is pissed off that they parked in front of his house and he reemed her man about it. Great. She plans a quick walk to the car and exit from the neighborhood. Can't walk quick cuz the ground is solid ice. OK fine. She walks slow to the car. Gets there and puts the key in the lock. It won't go in. Shit. She tries a few more times and carefully waddles to the other side. Key goes in. Whew! But it won't turn. She tries in both directions many times. The key starts to bend so she stops. She imagines the mean old neighbor coming out and yelling at her and her having to throw a snowball at him. Then she imagines a complicated but possible entry through the hatchback, removing the dog gate, climbing over the back seat and unlocking one of the front doors. She goes to the rear of the car. It unlocks, but is frozen shut. She grabs her water bottle and pours it around the doors edges. Thinks she's smart. The door still won't open and the water literally freezes within 5 minutes. Shit. She tries kicking the door a few times to, you know, wake it up and tell it to open the fuck up. Suprisingly it doesn't work. Carefully she walks down the street and down her long driveway back to the house. Fills up two big bottles with hot water and waddles back to the car. Pours the hot water all over the hatchback and it actually opens. Yes! She climbs in the back wondering if that angry neighbor is watching this long scene of her quickly removing her car from in front of his house. Oh well. Crouched in the back of the car she takes off the dog gate and climbs over the seat unlocking the back door and pushing it open. Makes her way out and its hard to, but she eventually pulls the frozen door open. Leans in unlocking the driver-side door and starts the car. Thank Goodness it starts. She goes around to close all the doors and the door she originally opened won't close. Shit. She tries to mess with the latching mechanism, but it doesn't work. Now an hour late to work she laughs about what a story this will be as to why she is late. There's rope in the back, she remembers. She'll just tie the door shut for now. The hatchback, however, is very frozen shut again given all that water she poured all over it. So she climbs over two rows of seats and finds a bungee cord. The only way to get it to work is to bungee one rear door to the other. This actually works and it actually holds all day long. She is thankful that she laughed her way through this challenge. She thinks about how this might have been received on the wrong day. But the sun is out and snow is everywhere and whats the hurry anyway. Thankful, she moves on with her day.