In the Lull

In the Lull

you forget the energy that fed you for weeks

you question

you imagine yourself living the dream and it feels unfamiliar; not possible

In the lull you worry

you doubt

you are thankful you paid for that workshop before the lull, otherwise you may not have done it

you worry more

you wonder if it was all some silly willy nilly excitement that was fun while it lasted but isn't real

you worry

In the lull 

you wonder what the heck you were thinking and, shit, you talked to so many friends about it (hello vulnerable) and your husband about it and what if its just not meant to be

In the lull you think

what if I am not cut out for this?
or its not right?
or it won't make me happy?
or it ends up being a waste of money AND I have lost my job (that you don't even like anyways)

In the lull

you are remotely aware of and thankful for the course which led you to this lull AND which told you it would likely happen, and what to expect, and not to be afraid or lose sight of your dream

In the lull

the challenge is

to be with it

to let the fears and doubts arise and not let them take hold

to sit with the dream and how it energized you

It was a vision of something good 

that led you to sign up for this workshop and buy a plane ticket and reach out to an old acquaintance from high school

to open up to the possibility that other dreams may be (are definitely) pulling you, and they may be (probably will be) in a different arena than the one you are currently in


As far as the lull goes

let it be

and do what you need to do